Since I began writing for children in 2012, my creativity—or simply, my writing discipline—has experienced ebbs and flows. During the two years we fostered children, I rewrote the same four pieces over and over again for my monthly critique group. I could not create anything new. The ideas weren't there, and I had little time to write. But probably the biggest issue was my energy. By the end of the day, it was zapped. I had nothing in me left to devote to my creative passion.
The past two years have similar for me. I started a new job, fought long-COVID, and then have stood my husband's side while he battles cancer. It felt like my creativity had gone—permanently. Some days, I wondered if I would ever be able to write again. I had no ideas. The drive wasn't there. And yes, by the end of each day, I was simply too emotionally drained for creativity.
By the end of each day, I was simply too emotionally drained for creativity
But the thing I've learned about life, in general, is that very little stays the same. We are in a constant state of change and flux. Tomorrow will not look like today is so many ways. That can be scary. But it can also be freeing. Our inability to create today doesn't have to last forever. It may be different tomorrow or in a week or a month.
I spend a year in counseling after our journey as foster parents. As much as I wanted to continue that ministry, I couldn't. During that year, I discovered I was a high-sensitive person (HSP or empath). I absorbed every trauma and emotion that came into our home to the point where I couldn't function or help the children in our care as effectively as I wanted to. In the end, I had to release it.
But it was also during that year that my creativity began to return. At first, I simply wrote a new piece responding to an open call. It never got picked up (and to be honest, I'm glad it never did!), but it was enough to open the floodgates of creativity for me. Ideas and words began pouring out of my fingers. The same happened this summer after my more recent two-year drought. During a retreat, I pulled out a middle-grade project that I had been struggling to write and began to re-write it in verse. It was enough to break the barrier.
But the time had to be right. During the crises I experienced, I couldn't break the wall between me and my creativity no matter how hard I tried. But when the time was right and I had a moment to breath—and relax—the creativity was there waiting for me again. I just needed to take the first step.
Yes, I will experience many more of these creative blocks. Most of the time, they aren't this long. I have missed writing during weeks of migraines in the spring, when the warmer weather brings in storm after storm. And I've missed months, in the fog I experience after a seizure. But it always comes back.
Sometimes we just need to ride the ebbs and flows as they come. The break we get from creativity—even though we are handling much more serious matters—will give that side of the brain the rest it needs to jump back in when the time comes.
Don't let the wave (or lack of one) crush you. Accept it. Embrace it. Don't give up.
CAROLYN BENNETT FRAISER is the author of several educational books for children including Moon Tree (Reycraft Books, 2022) and M IS FOR MASON JARS (Familius, 2025). Connect with her on social media @CarolynBFraiser or visit her website at CarolynBFraiser.com.
Photo credits: Matt Hardy and Kirk Thornton on Unsplash
Thanks for being so transparent! What you said is so true. I often feel the same way. I pray You continue your writing journey.